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If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. They were habitually getting up trees that they couldn't get down out of.My mother, caring more for her kittens than her own self-image, hung sleeping bags, blankets and ladders in the trees so that her kittens could get back down safely.If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship. But the sad truth is that many young cats are lost along the way.If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. As for my mother's young prodigy kittens, they weren't the brightest crayons in the box.If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you. There has not been a moment in her life when there wasn't at least one animal in her home. I mean, sure, you hope that they are doing something contructive with their time away from you and you hope that they are learning all that they can in this big wide world.

The profile names had to be slightly different because the site won’t allow two the same.

My weight has fluctuated dramatically throughout my life – I was a fat child, a thin teenager, a chubby sixth former, a skinny student and so on, up and down through my adult life.

I’ve never bought into the lie, popular with some elements of the media, that everything will be better when you’re thin.

It should be obvious, but a culture obsessed with weight doesn’t always remember that appearances of health can be skin deep.“I see these people all the time,” says Dr.

Daniel Neides, medical director at Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Institute and Chanatry’s doctor.