They neutralise the fast-paced, sober South of the country. Outwear does not exist on the Scouse dress-code as they are immune to the English weather. Their guttural accents disguise their excessive use of swear words and common term, “like” (pronounced – likghhh).
But since moving to university, you might have come across a new breed of Northerner. Take them on a night out and you can definitely keep your own jacket in the bitter wind and rain.
Forget Corrie and East Enders, Brookside (or ‘Brookie’ as you affectionately called it) was by far the most superior soap. You know someone who once got an ASBO for putting their feet up on the seat of a Merseyrail train. As a teenager it was a weekly, even daily occurrence to be kicked off on by a ‘scally’ on public transport.
In fact you’re certain that signed photo of Ron Dixon is still knocking about somewhere. It’s your (drunken) party trick to tell people you were in Brookside. They stare, and stare, and stare until you glance back and then they accuse you of staring at them. Your pursuit for the ultimate eyebrows has nothing to do Cara Delevingne.
Nicholls mint choc chip for life, but it will only be your reward after you've spent at least two hours trying to park. Don't ever worry about taking her somewhere fancy, because anywhere is a step up from Birkenhead Pyramids tbh. It ain't got nothing on West Kirby and New Brighton. Chances are she spent her youth in The Frenzy or Dn E (Destiny and Elite for anyone who's not clued up).
The shopping precinct that God forgot, only ever visited when you get your first minimum wage job in the Primark, or when your mum needs a new top and you really can't be arsed to go over to Liverpool.9. Proper devo'd for ya, babe." "Soz but am a proper crank" etc. Speaking of claims to fame, get ready to hear all about how Central Park in New York is actually based on Birkenhead Park. There's a weird amount of them around here for some reason (and loads of grammar schools too), so that explains a lot, ey? As soon as the first bit of sun emerges in the summer, expect to be dragged into the Morrisons to get a picnic for a day on the sand, even if it's bloody freezing. Can't speak for myself here because I was too much of an awkward weirdo to even consider going, but all the cool girls spent their Friday evenings here being approached by lads asking 'EY GIIIRL, will you get into my mate?
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They have the best sense of humour Scousers’ sense of humour are one of the things they’re most famous for, and rightly so.
I don’t know, maybe it was a really interesting episode of Corrie that night, but it was a texting faux pas that automatically put me off said soap fan.
RULE NUMBER 2: RECOGNISE WHEN IT’S NOT GOING WELL This can apply to texting, but mainly this is a rule for the date itself.
BUT whilst I may be quite clearly terrible at relationships, I consider myself to know a thing or two about the dating game – specifically that early stage of dating after you first meet, where you’re still texting and trying to suss each other out. By now, we all know about the basics of dating texting etiquette; whether you like to admit you indulge in these childish games or not.
Based on my years of sad experience after sad experience, I have compiled this list of Dos and Don’ts to help us all tread through the waters of the dating ocean without accidentally thrusting our foot into the jaws of a piranha. For example, if they leave it an hour before texting back, you leave it an hour and a half before texting back.